a million ways to be cruel

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

im not happy. i didnt say i was angry. im sad. its sad. everything is sad. hope i would be able to take things easier tml. yeah. its over ian. over. no more trying. no matter how much you try. it wont work.yeah. everything is going wrong wrong wrong. my friends fighting each other online. on each other's blogs. some kinda online war.and things are ugly.to the extent that they say things like what they really feel.they've shown their true colours.yeah.-_- all the shit happening. i have a brother who has a hell lot of comments and has a different mindset. yeah its difficult. i have a difficult sister too. things are not as smooth as they were. i was happy for awhile. its always temporary. then you find out something. then bang.headshot. yeah lucky you have your friends. but they're not always free. i think i wont be seeing them for a long time. im going china on the 10th.twins are going london on the 11th.im coming back on the 16th and wil is going to hk on the 16th.-_-
the twins would only be back on the 22nd. the holidays are going to be over really soon. then it'll be school school school again. its sad yeah. damn sad, but things cant go the way you want them to. you do not have the power to. you cant stop people from making decisions.yeah. if i could do that. i wouldnt be so down.if only. yeah but then its their choice what.like i chose to be stupid and tried.i still have cdc shit work. giving out the 100 bucks. its damn tedious. i dont want to do it. but can i stop zatan from making decisions? apparently not. if i could i would have gone for c8 last week. if the date was not changed. things change. or they appear to have changed. its dumb luh. you cant blame people. cos they made the choices. sometimes i try to get motivated in life but its so hard. its too much to take. i need God desperately. my life is in a mess. and prolly because of physical needs. yeah so its not good. everytime when you're down you ask yourself what your living for. you wont be able to answer. blank.maybe its because i have a negative point of view now. but i cant help it yo. things dont always go the way their planned. yeah so yeah. take it.but at least i tried. kay

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ianlam 5:07 AM